Holidays with Extended Family

I am enjoying a fabulous, hilarious weekend with James's family. We had our early Christas celebration yesterday, and four-year-old Jessica was wild with delight as she got to spend all day with her cousins. Our "big kids" are wonderful with younger children, and enjoy Jess as much as she enjoys them! When I first saw Jess after she'd been playing with the cousins for a while, she had a big grin and hug for her Aunt Mary. I told her I brought her cousins for Christmas, and asked, "Was that a good present for you?"
"Yes! But I have more presents for you!" She was our Christmas elf this year, being able to recognize a few of the names to deliver presents to everyone, and her dad helped with the ones she couldn't read.

I love to watch kids at this stage, when they delight so much in giving to others and watching for the reactions to the gifts they've picked out for people they love.

And Jessica crawled into my lap several times through the afternoon to give me a hug and tell me how much she really liked her new skirt I made for her, and purple is her favorite color. Our little ballerina was a "hoot!", as her uncle James says, twirling in circles to make her skirt flare, and the announcing, "That makes me really dizzy!".

As I sit here, laughing and enjoying the family times, it's hard to believe that I didn't know these people three years ago!

I'm back to looking at the value of getting to know a prospective partner's family before making a lifetime commitment. I believe my relationship with James is, at least in part, so easy because we grew up in similar families. Both our families share lots of laughter, expect excellence, respect and consideration for others, and enjoy a good bit of smart-alec teasing, all full of love. I have encouraged my children to get to know their intend's family before making a public announcement of the engagement. And if you don't enjoy being with the other members of the family, think hard about whether or not this is a good match. It may seem old-fashioned, or even ridiculous when young, but it seems to me that we become more like our parents as we get older, and it really helps to know that you like your love's parents, and he/she likes yours, before that morning you wake up, look in the mirror, and think, "Egad, I've become my mother!"

Looking back at my first marriage, we didn't meet each other's families until just before the wedding, and didn't necessarily enjoy them. I do tremendously appreciate my former in-laws, and respect them for living what they believe, but I do not hold the same views/interpretations of many things, or want to emulate their family relationships. And, somehow, I think it was easier to see those discrepancies, that later became issues in my first marriage, looking at his family, rather than trying to see through the hormones of young love.

Just a funny train of thought as I enjoy a holiday weekend, listening to my children laugh and build relationships with each other and their grandparents.

Mele Kalikimaka!