Who is your mirror?

One of the things about parenting teenagers is that anything I might be trying to hide from in myself is certain to be manifested by one or the other of them. Any issues I have only partially completed are certain to be brought forward by one of the kids who has learned from my example through the years.

I remember the first time I heard my mother's line, with her intonation!, coming from my five-year-olds mouth while she was playing with her sister. There was no way for direct transmission, since they hadn't spent much time with their grandmother in situations that would have occasioned them hearing that particular line. It had to have come through me!

So now, a decade later, I face my own tendencies to put forth less than 100% effort as I notice my frustration with trying to get a teenager off the computer games to help me with a painting project. And I notice that I've taught my kids that I will back off if they raise their voices, or we'll just plain avoid conflict all together, until that elephant in the livingroom has gotten too big to manage with anything less than major conflict. Not a good example for a mediator to set!

So I have scheduled a conversation with Tori (age 18) for tomorrow afternoon. We're going to talk through the various concerns related to her indefinite move-out date, and disrespect of the boundaries/standards we've set for the good of the whole family.

My questions for you:
Who are the mirrors in your life? Who sets you off?
Can you see how that person might be a mirror for something you might want to consider working on?
What example do you want to set for others (particularly your children, if you have any!)? What would you rather see reflected back to you?