Kids and kin

Samuel (and two friends) started testing for his black belt in kung fu in February. At Jing Ying, testing to Black is a 6-12 months long process. Besides demonstrating excellence in the forms, including multiple weapons forms, the students also take responsibility for teaching others. It’s wonderful to see how much Samuel has enjoyed and accomplished over the last four+ years that he’s been studying here. I really appreciate the family feel of the school.

I tried to start kung fu last month, but reality intervened this month, and I’ve postponed that adventure until next month- when I’ll have more time during the summer (yeah, right!) to get into the groove there. Samuel had figured he’s far enough ahead of me that I wouldn’t be able to catch up with him. . . James just wondered when/how I was going to fit it into my schedule. (You can say “I told you so” now, darling.)

Miriam has been busy with learning Russian dances for a performance this weekend. I’ll try to get a picture of that posted, but you’ll be more likely to see it on James’s blog first!

Kyle called James on St. Patrick’s Day, just before he headed out for a band trip to Florida, and then was going to be heading to Ohio Valley University this month for a Bible Bowl event.

Liza was out for a quick visit last month, and it was wonderful to see her! She’s taking a photography class at the local community college, and busy with plans for next Fall.

Tori’s working and taking classes and dancing and still finding time to travel to dance weekends and drop everything to come down and be here for her little sister when Miriam needed her.

That’s one of my biggest joys. I enjoy the relationships I have with my kids, and treasure the time we spend together, but I am still the parent. There are times when I have to push or set a boundary, and there’s an imbalance in our relationship because of our role differences. It makes my heart sing to see how close the kids are to each other. I love my sibs, and am so glad to have them in my life. I’m thrilled to see my own kids growing into strong relationships also.

Last Friday James and I drove down to Alexandria to watch Aria’s theatrical debut. She was a spider in her elementary school production of Sleeping Beauty-the Enchanted story of Princess Briar Rose. It was a fabulous production, put on at the high school!, with live music and incredible performances. Aria was spectacular! She takes after her Aunt Becky in her delight at being in the spotlight (but I’m her favorite aunty because I was there!).

I’m so glad we live close enough to Rob & Lisa to enjoy watching their kids grow up! We were down last month for our annual Epilepsy Walk adventure, this time representing SeizureTracker.com! James and I were brochure distributors extraordinaire (“Have you heard about SeizureTracker.com yet?”). I’m so proud of what Rob and Lisa have done with that project! They’re fabulous parents, especially with all that they have going on with keeping their brilliant kids challenged while managing Evan’s medical needs. And somehow they’ve created time to develop this site and provide this service for others.

A trip to Paradise

They keep telling me they hope the weather improves (warms up) while I'm here, but gee, it's January and I'm running around in shorts and short sleeves. What's a little tropical breeze or occassional showers?

Lunch yesterday was a box of sushi and haupia malasadas (think doughnuts filled with coconut pudding). Dinner was more vegetable tempura than I could finish because Paul, Millie and Edwin all gave me most of their tempura from their combination plates. They are having trouble with understanding how I get enough to eat on my vegan diet. And I found dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts that are vegan too!

Paul's doing well recovering with surgery. The doctor cleared him for most activities except lifting/pushing/pulling. That means he's home in his place, but cleaning up and replacing kitchen gear after the remodeling effort are off limits. I wiped out the cabinets yesterday. We'll start putting things away after his nap. (I've been working on school stuff all morning, and he was ready for a rest by the time I got that part done yesterday.)

When Becky called yesterday, she asked if I'd gotten the bathroom done too. Gee, Bec, who's the bossy one? Three thousand miles away and she's still telling us what to do! (Love you bunches!)

It is good to have this opportunity to spend time with Paul, and to be able to give back some small measure of what he's given us over the years. It's interesting how this came up as I was considering what it means to be family, both in who is family and what we do with and for each other. But that's for another post.

"Can I tell you 'sumping '(something)?"

I've enjoyed spending the last two days with my niece and nephew, Aria and Evan. Evan is the one who enjoyed the miraculous improvement in his epilepsy after his surgeries last November, and is still doing physical therapy four times/week. Thus, when both Mom and Dad have to work, they need to find more than day care, they need a chauffeur! With this being my last week of winter break before I head back to class, I got to play "Aunt Mary to the rescue!"

I also cleared a box of books that our kids have outgrown and were ready to share with their cousins. At just four years old, Evan read me two books this afternoon. He was thrilled to find some books that looked interesting to him in that box. Most of the books on his level had already migrated down there for Aria when she was at that stage.
Now in kindergarten, and just turned six at Christmastime, Aria is a voracious reader. She discovered the Magic Tree House books-chapter books at a 3rd grade independent reading level, and devoured the first one in less than an hour and a half- all by herself! I took advantage of a few minutes while Evan was occupied with his trains to have her read for me. She sight read the first few pages of one of the American Girl books, totally new to her, with great expression. This is NOT a kindergarten or even first-grade level book! I don't know how her teachers can challenge her at all in the regular classroom! While her class is learning to count to 100 by tens, at dinner tonight we were working on counting to a thousand by hundreds, and then taking it all the way to a million. The kid is a sponge!

Meanwhile, Evan never stops talking or singing. And, being very polite, he checks to make sure you're really listening. . ."Can I tell you sumping?" "Did you see my fish? Isn't he cute?!"(complete with a cute squinch of his face and shoulders) "Can I tell you sumping?" "I love my new Little Blue Engine that Could." "Can I tell you sumping?" etc. (Lots of etc!)

It's so much fun to live close by, and to be able to enjoy watching them grow up!

Evan, can I tell you sumping? I love you! (And you too, Aria!)

How do I get myself into these situations???

Having once lived through five-year-old twins, one would think I'd have the sense not to repeat the experience, but no!

James and I are exhausted but enjoying having my "sister's" kids while she and her husband are enjoying a music festival in Vegas. (Sister is in quotes because we're family by choice, dating back to high school at least. I did live with them for several months in my early college years, and was acknowledged as one of the girls by both parents-with varying degrees of enthusiasm.) The twins, Noe & Gil, are five and a half, and enjoying kindergarten. Daniel is four years younger, and quite a handful! And they all like to talk! (Really makes us appreciate having teenagers!)

I suppose the shirts Mom packed for them should have given me a clue as to what we were in for: Gil's is a Hawaiian-themed "Here Comes Trouble". Daniel's reads "Monkey See-Monkey Do-Monkey get in trouble too". Noe left her matching shirt at home, but Gil really wanted her to put it on for the picture! Noe's line of the week seems to be, "He always does (pronounced dues) that sometimes." Daniel's favorite word is "Uh-oh!"

We're definitely ready for bedtime when 8 o'clock rolls around! Fortunately, they have inherited the family interest in books, and we can usually carve out a bit of calm with a stack of new books.

New pictures added

I finally got the pictures into my post about my trip to stay with Becky's kids in Colorado. (July 5th) Here's one to give you a sense of how my days started out there. . .
The game they're playing is Trouble (think loud popping thing to roll the die), and the time on the clock was basically 6:15 AM! (I did mention their energy levels are as high as their mother's, right?)

In the Mile-High City

I'm out in colorado this week. . .attempting to keep my sister's kids alive for a few more days-and hopefully stay alive myself!

Beck is in Ethiopia, visiting her kids' family there, volunteering in a couple of orphanages, and getting things started on solving the water crisis there. I've heard it said that the water situation in Africa is hopeless, but if anyone can get things going, my little sister can! Beck is a powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm, hard to keep up with, and it's even harder not to catch the excitement when she's on a roll.

I'm so very glad she trusts me to take charge of her kids for a few days. Her husband, Mitch, is a firefighter working 24 hour shifts, and that can make child care very tricky. Fortunately for them, their kids are adorable, and I wasn't hard to convince when they offered me a free ticket and five days with their five kids. Okay, so Roman really doesn't count as a kid at 15. He's a spectacular young man and we've had some great chats since I arrived.

The other four are all within about two years of the same age-6-8 years old. They are as high energy and dynamic personalities as their mother-if that's possible, and eat as much as their uncles and cousins! And do they ever love to talk!

I've done a bit of "coming down hard", but we've mostly gotten along quite well.

Yesterday was my first day "on the job", and we got most of the chores done, rooms clean, clothes on and food in everyone's stomach before I sent them outside to play. Then we cleaned the front porch, and Taye got tired of waiting for his turn with the broom and came inside to find something else to do. All on his own he decided to vacuum the family room sofa and carpet, and he did an excellent job of it! Sierra helped hold the cushions so that Taye could vacuum them, and they worked together so well putting the sofa back together! I was so proud of them! Meanwhile Saba and Gizachew were busy sweeping outside. When they finished with the porch and sidewalk, those two just kept on going, and swept the driveway too! What a great team!

Saba wanted to make sure that everyone remembered that Mom doesn't like them writing on the front porch. (The sign on the step reads, "Don't write here" with a bit of creative spelling.)



After lunch we joined their friends Molly & Reilly (and their parents-6 on 1 was a bit much!) for an expedition to the pool. The floating slide had been patched and made an appearance for the first time in almost two years. The kids had a blast, and the adults agreed it was wonderful. I ended up a bit pink from too much midday sun-even with SPF 45 on, but I did get the kids well gooped and none of them burned.

Besides the necessity of keeping the ravening horde fed, I did manage to organize a half hour of reading before the short night and high energy caught up with me and I resorted to mindless entertainment and let them turn on the tv for an hour or so.

They were almost settled for bed when the fireworks started, and it was after ten before I was able to chase them back to bed. Oh well, that's what happens on holidays. Unfortunately short nights tend to be followed by shorter tempers the next day-but today Dad was "in charge". . .

For my day off, I got to go out to lunch with one of Becky's best friends, Capucine, and we had a wonderful time. Without Beck to help, we didn't manage to solve all the world's problems, but we did get to know each other. I am delighted to know that Becky has such a wonderful friend here to share life's challenges when I, as her big sister, am so far away.

Now, I'm off to bed to recharge my batteries before wrestling the kids tomorrow.

Spring is on its way!/Life lessons in relationship

The crocuses have been carpeting the neighbors' back yard for about a week. The ground is thawing (after another late snow last Wednesday!), and we'll be planting peas in the next couple of days. And this morning I heard the geese honking as I lay cuddling with Samuel.

I do so appreciate my affectionate teenagers! I had morning cuddles with both twins this morning. Miriam came in for the first time since we cleaned her room the weekend before last. I've really missed her. As much as I understand her frustration and anger, and our need to be parents, I really felt hurt when she refused hugs. (It's her right, and we have never pushed our kids to be affectionate when they don't want to.)

We did have one really funny story come out of her "punishing silence", and she knows I claim the right to publish it, so here goes. . . Thursday night Tori was giving one of her friends a ride home to our neighborhood, and her car died in the turnaround on the highway just outside the entrance to our neighborhood. Naturally enough, she called for help. Knowing James had work early the next morning, and not wanting to disturb him at 10:45 PM, when Miriam answered the phone, Tori asked her to wake me. Miriam's response? "Can I get James instead? I'm not speaking to Mom." Everyone (except Miriam for some reason) has gotten a good laugh out of this.

Fourteen can be a miserable time to be a girl! Fortunately, I have seventeen and nineteen-year-old daughters to remind me that we CAN all live through it!

A visiting baby in Meeting for Worship this week, along with wonderful times "babysitting" my nieces and nephews in recent weeks, contrasted with adventures in parenting teens and conversations with the ones who have flown the nest, have made me really appreciate how quickly time passes and the kids pass through the phases of life. They all have so much to learn and teach!

Last Wednesday I spent the day with Aria and Evan, my brother Rob's children, while he and Lisa were educating our legislators about Tuberous Sclerosis. It's wonderful to be able to enjoy the results of their loving parenting. The kids are so happy, loving, enthusiastic, creative, and intelligent! I got sleepy toddler hugs from Evan when I arrived, and we had a wonderful time together while Aria was at school. He focuses so intently on his trains and construction projects, and then switches gears, and is all about communicating something imaginative. It's clear that he really enjoys the attention his big sister gives him, and learns so much from her.
Aria is a "model child" (a role model for the other children) in an early intervention program at the neighborhood elementary school, and was delighted to introduce me to her friends. She was even more delighted when I started speaking Spanish with one of her classmates. The kids have an Hispanic day care provider who speaks Spanish with them, and Aria had forgotten that I speak Spanish also. She's hoping to be included in the Spanish immersion kindergarten next year. I hope she makes it! Even with the challenge of learning Spanish, the teachers will have their hands full keeping her challenged! At lunchtime we had an intense conversation about numbers and math, because Aria was looking for a number word that I wasn't getting "right"! (You have to understand, twenty plus twenty equals forty, which is a new word for multiple tens. Therefore, by Aria's reasoning, there should also be new words when you add multiple hundreds, and I wasn't giving her that word!)
It really is impressive, especially with my background in language and early childhood education, to see how much those two kids have integrated! Evan's language skills, and synthesis of grammatical rules, are so far beyond his age level expectations that I was pulled up short by his age-appropriate (not quite 3 1/2 years old) speech patterns (missed sounds in words, for example). And his numerical sense is impressive also. One example-a kindergarten readiness test is the ability to count to twenty by rote, without missing numbers. He not only did that in English, but did most of it in Spanish also! Aria, who actually will be starting kindergarten in five or six months, can count beyond one hundred in English, and has the pattern down in Spanish, but just needs the words for multiples of ten (30, 40, 50, etc). She also sight-read a book I brought with me, WITH EXPRESSION!!! I really am impressed! And I appreciate the opportunity I have to be included in their lives! You're doing a great job with them, Rob & Lisa!

So, back to that idea of lessons to learn & teach. . . I feel like I learn so much about the world, and myself, through my interactions with my kids and other people in general. We each have our own path to walk through this life, and I don't presume to know how others should walk theirs. I do appreciate what I learn to see, by contrasting what I accept as a given with the way other people do things. Kids help so much in this, because their innocent questions, or adamant demands for answers (Aria) open my eyes to so many other possibilities.

Living with teenagers, especially my own, it can be a little harder. (For that matter, I think I may have been too exhausted to fully appreciate & take advantage of the opportunities when my own kids were at that younger stage!) They've now assimilated many of my viewpoints, and I often expect their behavior to match my expectations more than might be realistic, or even appropriate. Their different perspectives are more often couched in "attitude". And, for some reason, the opinions expressed in a huff just don't land as "cute" the way they did at five-years-old. And then I get to have a conversation with Eliza, who is still in Hungary, and appreciate the world through her perspective and experiences. I am so looking forward to traveling through Eastern Europe with her next month!

As I watch my kids with each other, I am really beginning to "get" my mother's joy at watching the relationships my sibs and I have with each other. I love being with the people my children are becoming, and am so glad they appreciate the relationships they have with each other! Like my sibs, they're all individuals, with different perspectives on life, but an abiding love and respect for each other. They're "good people", and I'm glad they're my people!